We Are All Influencing Each Other (And Often Being Manipulated)
Some more quotes from You Are Not So Smart and then some thoughts:
-Have you ever seen someone broken down on the side of the road and thought, “I could help them but I’m sure someone will be along.” Everyone thinks like that. And no one stops. This is called the bystander effect.
-In 1970, psychologist Bibb Latane and John Darley created an experiment where they had someone fill out a questionnaire. After a few minutes, smoke would start to fill the room, billowing in from a wall vent. They ran two versions of the experiment. In one, the person was alone, in the other, two other people were also filling out the questionnaire. When alone, people took about five seconds to get up and freak out. Within groups, people took an average of 20 seconds to notice. When alone, the subject would go inspect the smoke and then leave the room to tell the experimenter he or she thought something was wrong. When in a group, people just sat there looking at one another until the smoke was so thick they couldn’t see the questionnaire. Only three people in eight runs of the group experiment left the room, and they took an average of six minutes to get up.
-The findings suggest the fear of embarrassment plays into group dynamics. You see the smoke, but don’t want to look like a fool, so you glance over at the other person to see what they are doing. The other person is thinking the same thing. Neither of you react, so neither of you becomes alarmed. The third person sees two people acting like everything is OK, so that third person is even less likely to freak out.
-Everyone is influencing every other person’s perception of reality thanks to another behavior called the illusion of transparency. You tend to think other people can tell what you are thinking and feeling just by looking at you. You think the other people can tell you are really worried about the smoke, but they can’t. They think the same thing. No one freaks out. This leads to pluralistic ignorance — a situation where everyone is thinking the same thing but believes he or she is the only person who thinks it.
-After the smoke-filled room experiment, all the participants reported they were freaking out on the inside, but since no one else seemed alarmed, they assumed it must just be their own anxiety.
-Many other studies have shown it takes only one person to help for others to join in. Whether it is to donate blood, assist someone in changing a tire, drop money into a performer’s coffers, or stop a fight — people rush to help once they see another person leading by example.
Thoughts:
-It is worth questioning who funds such experiments and who benefits from them. The initial assumption would be that such experiments are funded by idealistic do-gooders looking to help the human race. But who ends up with the data? One would think the data would be spread either in schools or in the media to help the average person understand the weakness of human programming, but I’d never heard of this and similar experiments until I chanced upon this book, have you? But all this experimentation IS being funded and IS being carried out, so it’s logical to ask the question, “Who benefits?” It may sound paranoid, but I assume there are people interested in manipulating the masses. Edward Bernays took the findings of his Uncle, Sigmund Freud, and used it to market cigarette smoking to women, among other things.
-This experiment demonstrates that the person who is alone is quicker to respond to a potential crisis than one who is not alone. In this day and age, for all intents and purposes, none of us are EVER alone. We are always connected via technology to others, more aware of what others might be thinking, and more likely to seek out the perceptions and attitudes of others on any given situation before responding according to our own inclinations.
-The attitudes and perceptions of others are never accurately conveyed to us either by the mass media or social media. In either case, the voices of common people like ourselves are tamped down while the voices of the powerful are amplified. Quite simply, we will never receive the cues we’ll need from others to impel us to respond to emergencies.
-“After the smoke-filled room experiment, all the participants reported they were freaking out on the inside, but since no one else seemed alarmed, they assumed it must just be their own anxiety.” Imagine how many people end up being medicated for this feeling of panic and anxiety, because they believe there is something wrong with THEM, and not the situation. Imagine how many people are drugged for normal and healthy reactions when otherwise they might be compelled to deal with the situation that is the source of their fear and anxiety.
-So many of us look at one another, misreading the looks on other people’s faces, believing that other people must somehow see what we are feeling but fear to express. It is so important to realize this tendency in ourselves and look for it in others. Do not be afraid to say what you are thinking, nor assume you can tell what another is thinking or feeling. Communication is a skill and an art form, one which we would all do well to practice at and get better at.
-Human instincts and behavior were mostly established in a time where human conditions were radically different from what they are today. Quite frankly, the human body and the human psyche were not designed for the civilization we’ve created. It is vital for us to learn how our biological programming does not match the environment in which we live. Furthermore, we must understand that these shortcomings can be manipulated by others, be they individuals, marketers, governments, or special interest groups. Lastly, we should recognize the need to change society rather than always trying to adapt ourselves to a system that does not satisfy our deepest needs.
-As with the subjects in the experiments, there are people who act like they are no different than us but are in fact being paid to act a certain way so as to influence our behavior. From social media influencers to governments foreign and domestic, there are those who get paid to make you think the mass of humanity is thinking and feeling one way while the truth may be quite different. With the advent of AI, this will only get worse. Be aware of this kind of manipulation and learn to differentiate between real people and paid influencers and computer generated gobbledygook. With anything you see online, ask if it is the opinion of an individual or if it is being generated by powerful institutions. Just don’t be so sure that the people with power warning you about others aren’t the ones doing the influencing.
-All of us, to one degree or other, believe we are less influenced by the opinions of the majority than we really are. Let go of this illusion, because being influenced by the opinions of the masses is actually a powerful tool our species can use. The only real problem with it is when our perception of what the majority is thinking is altered. And it IS being altered. Therefore, it is vital that we do not assume that other people know what we are thinking, and voice our opinions and be honest about how we are feeling even when we assume we are in the minority. Likewise, we should not be so sure that we know how others are feeling or what they are thinking.
As demonstrated in the experiment above and others, it just takes one person to make a difference. We are ALL that one person. In whatever tiny or bold way you can, let people know what you are thinking and feeling. Not what others have told you what to think but what YOU hold to be your own thoughts and feelings. I assure you, they are not so very different from what lies in the hearts and minds of others. We are not so very different after all, and we are not so alone.