Voting For The Hand That Slaps You

Photo by Andrew Le on Unsplash

Them: I’m going to slap you in the face.

You: Like hell you are.

Them: It’s not really a slap, I’m just going to lightly touch the side of your face.

You: Not a chance, you just said you were going to slap me. Why should I trust you?

Them: Okay, I promise I won’t slap you, I just need you to vote for me for the position of face slapper.

You: Are you out of your mind?

Them: If you don’t vote for me, the other face slapper will win, and he doesn’t wash his hands after using the toilet.

You: Really?

Them: Oh yeah. And I don’t even want to tell you what he does in there, it’s really quite stinky.

You: Eww! That’s disgusting.

Them: You don’t know the half of it, brother. The guy lives on Big Macs and KFC.

You: You know, I think I will vote for you to be the next face slapper.

Them: We knew you’d come around. You’re smart. Not like those other people who vote for Stinky Hands to slap them in the face.

You: Eww!

Them: That’s right, you’re getting it now. They’re terrible people aren’t they?