U.S. Love For Ukraine Is Like A Son’s Love For His Mother

God I love my Mom. I love her so much there’s nothing I wouldn’t do for her. For instance, she has a neighbor she doesn’t get along with. A really big, scary guy. Because of my love for her, I tell her she shouldn’t take any guff from him. She has to show him who’s boss or the guy’s going to push her around the rest of her relatively short existence (She’s 83).

To help her out, I bought her the best exercise equipment money can buy and I got her one of the best mixed martial arts coaches I could find. I’ve had her training for years now. If the guy ever sets foot on her property, he’s going to get more than he bargained for.

I worry about her, because her neighbor’s a ranked UFC fighter. All the more reason to make sure she’s got everything she needs to be able to defend herself. She’s short and she’s skinny, but she’s strong. God I love her. Her well-being is all I think about.

Every day I tell her that she shouldn’t have to do anything the guy next door tells her to do. I had her chop down all the branches from his tree that overhung their lot boundary. You can’t let guys like this get away with anything, because before you know it, they’ll be calling all the shots.

I’ll admit that in order to pay for everything I’ve been doing for her, I had her sign some documents. She was more than happy to. And when she’s put things to right and taught her neighbor a lesson, her garden will have to be sold off to some friends of mine. We put a second and third mortgage on the property itself which she’ll have to repay, but my son is well-connected with some bankers that are cutting her a good deal. That’s not important, anyway, we’ll deal with that once the problem with her neighbor is taken care of. My dear Momma.

I’ve arranged a knock-down drag out fight, and it will take place on her front yard. I expect the hydrangea bush might see some damage as a result, but it will all be worth it once Mummy has put the creep in his place. The bird feeder will assuredly be smashed to bits and every animal she once enjoyed watching on her lawn will either flee for its life or be squashed flat. The grandkids won’t be visiting anytime soon. We’ll probably have to resod after all’s been settled too, but it’s a small price to pay. I put my Mother’s interests above all else.

I need to make it clear that I do not take this course of action lightly. I want nothing more for the world than peaceful coexistence. It’s just that you have to put the bullies in line if you ever expect to have peace and coexistence. Mom, dear brave Mom, is just the person to do it, too.

I suppose I should mention that the creepy neighbor has the most sophisticated weaponry money can buy. I mean if it came to him getting his ass kicked by my Mom, there is theoretically a chance that he might use them to blow up the entire neighborhood. He’s just evil and stupid and weak enough to resort to that sort of thing, too. Of course, he wouldn’t though. He wouldn’t be that stupid.

If anyone wants to help my Mom, they can send the money to me and I’ll make sure she gets it. He’s now come over onto her yard and she’s going to kick his ass but we need every penny you can scrounge up or she won’t. And once you’ve donated, don’t forget to cheer her on. We can never permit her to believe that she won’t win. We have to burn every bridge in order to assure she has no other option than defeat him in battle.

God I love her.