Trump Has Washed Away The Sins Of All True Believers

In a way, Donald Trump was like Jesus, in that he paid the price for everyone’s sins. Seriously, the worst sins of the worst war criminals were washed clean in the eyes of Democrats and the establishment media, all they had to say was they renounced Trump and all his works. The sainted Michelle Obama herself embraced George W. Bush without worrying that the blood of the million Iraqis he had on his hands would stain her designer dress. The prophets of war, such as William Krystol, Max Boot, and David Frum, have been invited to speak from the pulpits of neoliberalism’s most sacred networks to give testimony to their conversion and salvation. A world that was once full of sin was made new, and all that was required was to make Trump the sacrificial lamb who, by being crucified, would redeem even the most loathsome of sinners.

And in a way, modern liberals have become like fundamentalist Christians. Once the very word liberal implied a desire to break with the past and move toward the future. Now the liberal class wants nothing more than to return to what they remember as an idyllic past, that idyllic past being absolutely anything that did not include Donald Trump as a political entity. It was a world of safe suburbs and brunches, a world where people’s 401Ks were rising as fast as the average global temperature. America was the city upon a hill until Trump cast his shadow upon it. And like fundamentalist Christians, liberals too do not have to reflect upon their own moral failings, as they count themselves among the chosen simply by embracing the one true faith.

In place of priests and pastors, liberals turned to establishment media figures to read to them the Gospel, which they deemed it a sin to question and the ultimate sign of righteousness to accept without any actual evidence. In place of angels who whisper the divine word to their preachers, they have unnamed and unknown intelligence agents who whisper God’s own truth into the ears of establishment journalists, who in turn proclaim the inspired word for the world to hear.

Not that Trump was the savior, of course, that is a blasphemous thought. No, he who was without sin is the one who is called Barack. Barack Obama was the consummation of all that America promised. It does not show piousness to point to the fact that he did not choose his own apostles but that his cabinet was appointed by Citibank. Nor does it show proper reverence to state that the miracle performed by the Nobel Prince of Peace Prizes was turning two wars into seven.

We as a nation are facing a period of trial, one in which we must live according to the pronouncements of the priestly caste and the words written upon the sacred scrolls, as shifting as they may be. Now is not a moment for skepticism, now is a time for ultimate faith. Believe, all you people of faith, or be cast into the oblivion of Facebook jail. Believe, you who are righteous, or you shall be not merely excommunicated but cancelled as well. Believe and never stop believing, and you shall live to see the promised land, where one day — and no one knows the day or hour — we shall witness the miracle of the $15 minimum wage and the codification of Roe Versus Wade.

Sing with me now the words of that timeless old hymn:

You will eat (You will eat) bye and bye (Bye and bye)

In that glorious land above the sky (Way up high)

Work and pray (Work and pray), live on hay (Live on hay)

You’ll get pie in the sky when you die (That’s a lie!)