Rozoff 2024 (Because You’re Better Off Voting For Me Than Trump Or Biden)

You reach a certain age and you get the urge to do something that will make you feel young again. Some people buy a sports car or cheat on their spouse. Me, I’m running for president, because next to the two doddering old men who are running, I feel like a spring chicken. Frankly, I don’t think both of them are going to make it to the finish line, so you’re going to need SOME alternative to the surviving old guy.

And you have to know, deep in your heart, that I am a better candidate than either one of them, don’t you? I mean, I’m not so brainless that I would ever choose Mike Pence or Kamala Harris for a running mate, that’s for sure. I cannot imagine anyone of sane mind looking at a ballot, seeing those two names on it, and not contemplating going for option number 3. That’s me, the not too old and not too morally corrupt alternative. Why would you not vote for me?

You know that if you vote for either the Democratic Party candidate or the Republican Party candidate you are going to get someone approved by either the Democratic Party or the Republican Party. Don’t you? And you know that anyone approved by either party is going to be safe for corporate interests, safe for the military industrial complex, safe for the pharmaceutical industry, safe for big oil, and safe for corporate media. Why…