Looking To Hire: A Thousand Buddhas

Humanity Inc. is growing rapidly and is looking to fill important management positions. We are looking for self-starters who don’t wait for instructions from their superiors. In fact, you won’t have any superiors. Nor will you have any underlings. This will be a rather unique management position in that you will have no authority over others but will be expected to lead by example.
We are looking for people with a positive attitude, the sort that won’t take no for an answer. We are looking for people who know how to get the job done. In short, you will be asked to do what others say cannot be done on a daily basis.
We are beginning a rather grand and sweeping project and are looking for key workers to help us in our mission. We are looking to hire a thousand people for the position of Buddha.
Potential workers will need to love human beings, animals, and life itself. Must work well with others while also being a self-starter. You must be equally comfortable all alone as amongst a crowd.
Must be able to defuse potentially explosive situations without resorting to violence. Must be willing to work long hours with little compensation or acknowledgement.
Potential employees must be creative and imaginative while also having their feet planted firmly on the ground.
We are an equal opportunity employer that does not care about race, gender, or any other label that might be used to divide.
Christians, Muslims, Jews, Taoists, atheists, and all others capable of seeing beyond manipulative paradigms will also be considered.
Must be able to not only think outside the box but see outside the box. Must have a willingness even to live outside the box.
A pre-employment screening will be required in order to ensure there are no traces of mind viruses in your system.
We here at Humanity Inc. are fabricators of new realities. Formally a subsidiary of Corporatall, we have spun out on our own with a bold new mission statement.
If you think you are qualified to fill the position, no need to send a resume. Just start doing the work you see needs doing. Join NOW! Plenty of opportunities for advancement (of the human race).