A Little Humor On The Occasion Of Another School Shooting
Perhaps it is wrong of me to write light-heartedly on a day when there has been a mass shooting. To be fair to myself though, I would be a miserable person if I was not permitted lightheartedness on any day where school rooms or churches or parades WERE being shot up, it being the norm rather than the exception. It is always “too soon” because mass shooters never leave a respectful distance between events. Still and all, if I am being a bad person by employing humor to discuss mass shootings, we just need a good person to employ humor to discuss mass shootings to set things right.
Although, from the amount of mass shootings, it’s apparent there is a lack of good guys with guns and a preponderance of bad guys with guns. We aren’t getting guns into the hands of good guys fast enough. Something has to be done.
Maybe people buying guns should have to pass some kind of “good guy” test before they get one. The seller should be careful to note whether the buyer is wearing a black hat or a white hat. Black hat wearers would go home empty handed.
Seriously, though, the major tell of someone who wants to shoot a whole bunch of people on a rampage is someone interested in buying or possessing guns. WAY more than people who are interested in buying a puppy or flowers. It’s not even close. Guns are just magnets for psychopaths. It’s like someone going to the store to buy handcuffs and duct tape, it’s a definite indication that this person is not shopping for a birthday present for their mom.
I know, a gun is a tool, just like any other tool. It’s useful, like a hammer or a shovel. So maybe gun owners should treat guns the way they treat gardening implements rather than fetishizing them. You never see pictures of hot women holding a rake. Google “Bikini rake” and you won’t even get one matching image. Google “bikini gun” and there is no end of images of scantily-clad women with guns. Trust me, I looked through them for a LONG time. The sacrifices I make for my writing.
Looking at the raw data, it’s clear that good guys with guns aren’t stopping the bad guys with guns with any regularity. No more in fact than Gangster Disciples with guns have been able to stop Latin Kings with guns. In fact, I’m willing to bet Gangster Disciples are killing way more bad guys with guns than good guys with guns are. It’s just not being reported in the liberal media.
The other excuse used for needing guns is that they are required to help protect against an overreaching and authoritarian government. That a gun-owning populace was ever going to do something to strike fear in our government was disproven decades ago, when the government went after and killed prominent members of the Black Panthers with impunity.
Where were my gun-owning brethren when Edward Snowden revealed our government was spying on us? Why did they not pop a cap in somebody’s ass when Facebook partnered with the Atlantic Council to monitor and censor our information sharing? Face it, gun owners, you failed. You suck.
Perhaps instead of opposing gun restrictions you should focus instead on restricting government agents from owning guns. Nobody owns guns in France and their government is far more afraid of its citizens than the armed-to-the-teeth cops we have over here. And while you’re at it, maybe make them get rid of those heavily-armored riot vehicles they all seem to have nowadays.
Cops. Those are the real people good guys with guns need to fear. First of all, the way they’re always shooting people, they’re giving people with guns a bad reputation. Second, when they’re on duty, they seem to be easily triggered (no pun intended) by anybody they think might have a gun. Every time you hear about a cop shooting an unarmed individual they always say something like “He was reaching for his glove compartment and I was afraid there might be a gun in there.” Or “I mistook his comb for a gun”. Or “I saw my own gun in my hand and I mistook it for a gun in the baby’s hand.”
So what?! Guns are perfectly legal, why should a police officer worry if there’s a gun in the glove compartment? Why would they ever want to shoot someone for exercising their 2nd Amendment rights? Although if the police are already pulling someone over, they might already be assuming that they are bad guys with guns. Innocent until proven guilty has its limits.
I get how it can be confusing for good people with guns to figure out the who the bad guys with guns are. We people without guns have the same problem. We just assume you’re all nutty and avoid you all. Perhaps it is best that good guys with guns refrain from shooting anyone until the bad guy with a gun kills someone. Because technically, every gun owner is a good guy with a gun until he kills someone.
Unless, of course, he’s wearing a black hat.