15 Further Thoughts On Capitalism

1. Liberals are with corporate capitalism like alcoholics are with alcohol — they’re like, “I don’t have to give it up, I just have to learn to moderate it.”

2. Capitalism is a promise never delivered. It is flowers on the first date and a shafting after the fifth. It’s channels titled Arts And Entertainment that soon give you Honey Boo Boo and Anna Nichole Smith. Channels titled The History Channel that give you Pawn Shop a few years later. It’s a worm with a hook in it, a promise of three weeks vacation after 5 years, only to be terminated after four and a half. It’s watching the advertisement on YouTube go from one to two, watching the length of the ads go from 5 to 6 to 7. Capitalism is an attack that requires seduction. It is always being lied to, being told that it is a friendship when it is an extraction. It’s getting too far in before recognizing it for what it is. Because you were doing it for love and they were doing it for money.

3. Dear Republicans: I read a Twitter thread of people responding to the question “What made you a communist?” Not one of them said the liberal media or their teachers. They mostly said it was capitalism’s failures that were to blame.

4. The contradiction of capitalism is that capitalists point to competition as to what makes capitalism so great even as they do everything in their power to destroy their competition. There is no greater competition to the capitalists than socialism, and that is why they do everything possible to destroy it.